38 Days without Xin Yun

 

 What's Love!?

     This love is fruitless, do you understand ? Next to you I only see winter, and feel cold that your hand could not warm up. So I must leave you and go far away. Search for place where flower bloom in Sprinter , where birds sing under the Summer sun. A place to forget the hard time of the past.

     Loving you gain me nothing, Loving you grants me no wishes.So why don't you just forget me ? Why do you keep holding on? Has my love been enough for you? We'll take half of each with us. Our round splits here. A love worthy of poem now buried in the past.

     When I leave who are you going to blame? Blame us for not having a future together Cause I lay my heart upon the wrong heart. Or just blame me for being a hear-breaker, I made you lay your love upon the wrong person. Confined within those four wall of yours, All you can do is hope for a day where I'll return and that day won't come. If it does , I just be breaking your heart again.

34 Day without Xin Yun

A lousy girl has a boyfriend, she always wanted to improve herself to be useful for him.
A lousy boy has a girlfriend, He always wanted to improve himself to be at least better than her.

The different is ... the purpose.

Girl wishes the boy to be proud of her , love her more , she wish to be the best girl for him
Boy wants to revenge, Keep man face, doesn't want to lose her any side.

Why do I have this problem? Yes I know why . Because I don't love myself yet. I don't know how to please myself by the time without her . Why do I turn Emo ? Because I keep blaming her fault not being with me all the time. I understand. 

In school , I am like a star . Everyone , teachers and friends all love and respect me. I am one of top student , study well , moral attitude and active. But on Saturday and Sunday are only the time I am being emo at home due to lonely. I ask from her too much . I am sorry .

Now then , I will change , I will make myself busy and enjoy , I shall love myself as I love you last time. 

Thank you Xin Yun .

32 days without Xin Yun

     I miss you very much , Xin Yun. These days I was so busy with party and doing homework, thus I lack of sleep. Therefor I could not write blog these days .
     Todays 7th July, there is nothing much special event. I complete my homework early so that I could blog now. These days I did not sleep enough. I felt very sick and every morning I kept planing of skipping school to go back my sleep. Although I was so busy but there is not a second I did not think about you my dear.
     These days I have learn some new vocab that is quite useful in daily conversation and writing. I plan of one day to revise and learn by heart them. Wow , this is my 1st time since very long time I have not get the feeling of interest studying. I wonder I could last this for how long or maybe next week will be over. I have promised you that I will study well , do my ever best for the exam , I will . I will let you proud of me , even though we are now not together , I believe one day , when you read this , you would understand how deeply I love you. Love you only Xin Yun
     I am planning of buying Iphone so that we could use the same phone as couple phone. Really this is 60% out of my reason. Others is for my personal application need. Others words mean play game.
    I should sleep early tonight. Goodnight my love Xinyun . Wish I could dream of you later baby .
     I Love You

27 Days without Xin Yun

     Yesterday , 2nd July , I went prawning with my friends. It was great fun and enjoyable time with them. It's very costly, $15 per hour and we , hiring 4 rod, only caught 3 prawn at the end. Its not worth anyway but we have great time laughable when Jhonson missed the prawn twice and Euwent's bait was stolen triple. Although I only stood , walking around observe they prawning , I was glad enough as we all were have fun. I planed myself one day I could bring you here and try , Xin Yun ^.<
     When I was walking home, I felt very downhearted . I felt like a fun , party had been over. I missed my friends. I felt so lonely walking home. Just a moment before , we spent time having dinner but then I was walking home alone. I hate this feeling.
     When I reached home , tiredly , I went straight to bed and sleep. Of course I changed to my sleeping clothes but I did not bath. I had nightmare again. 
      I woke up late the next morning and miss the class. My friend was disappointed me as I promised him to attend the class. The whole day at home without Xin Yun is terrible . I was facing computer like a stone. I did not have mood to play any game. I tried to do homework but I could not think at all . It's like killing the time . I went back to my bed but I could sleep at all. I need someone who could entertain me . Without you , life is like an broken pencil , lifeless as pointless.
      Xin Yun

25 day without Xin Yun

     Today is Friday 1st July. We could have 1year 6months Anniversary since we started in relationship on the 1st January 2010. I was alone at home and got terrible nightmare that I could remember for now.
     Today is Friday , School was ended early. I went home and took a short nap. I dreamed that my family having a party at my grandma's hometown. We had a big party cause almost everyone there knew my grandma well and this had been years we had not visited the village. We had a great fun during camp fire party at the parade square of the village.
     Somehow there was a quarrel between my grandma and another elegant woman about comparing me and her son's result. That woman seem very arrogant that she wanted to proved her son study better than I do. She challenge me have Math competition with her son.
     All my family member supported and hoped I could beat that unknown boy. "Lets see what you got!" I confidence accepted the challenge.
     However , as the 1st bell started , I opened the cover page and read the question, I could not read any single word . I try to focus on ready , I could not understand and know how to answer the question. I did not know what had happened to me. While I was panic ... Ring !
     "Time up"
     That is impossible , I thought . I could believe on myself that I could not write a word . As the result , I lose to that boy . I could felt how shameful to me . That feeling hurt me too deeply that I just wanted to die. I did not dare to see anyone , I ran away as fast as I could.
     Its start to rain , I wish that if the lighting could strike and end my life. At the moment , she cover me with a pink umbrella. Xin Yun , she was there , I was shock . She embrace me tight and what happened next I have forgot.
     I wake up but the time my bro come back home , opened the door loudly. I was sweat a lot. I took 10 mins to calm down on the bed and went to wash my face.
    I could remember clearly the happy feeling when you hugging me , Xin Yun . I wish you were here when I had a nightmare . I miss you !

24 day without Xin Yun

     Today I don't feel like doing anything
     I just wanna lay in my bed
     Don't feel like picking up my phone
     So leave a message at the tone
     Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything

     Today I miss her so much , I took a look at her facebook , Wow! I found this song is great ^.^ It was similar to my feeling by the time I was listening. Lazy!!! the laziness takes over missing her . Despite lazy, I still tried my best completing homework.
     This weekend would be horrible . Our teachers gave up mountain of Practice exercise. "Practice makes perfect" its true but Its not easy to do ok ! Especially English homework , she gave up amazingly so much, however, "You don't have to do everything but I would like to see you do as much as you could," she spoke nicely. That help a lot . At least I will not have that stressful doing those worksheet.
     Today was a great day for me, This is the 1st time I could understand and confidently do SS exercise . Wow, I was willing to stay back after school for SS remedial thus extra lesson at 4pm . I wonder why I was willing to study such this subject. The reason is I scored full mark for a question by myself . I understood and knew what is the steps to do. Moreover, when I have consultation one to one with her, she guild me step by step. That help very well . Thank you , Madam Rozaina
     Last but not least . You will see. I have not given up yet . I will do my best on studying , Even though you are studying higher level than me, I won't let your family look down own me. Even though next time we could be as husband and wide , as least you have a wonderful friend like me . I will always be there to help you and your family members ^.<
    Love you very much Tan Xin Yun !

23 Days withouy Xin Yun

     29th Jun 2011. This morning was very weird weather. Around the time 1130am , It was very hot sun outside but rain . We could feel the hot of water vapor. All the girls keep complaining noisily. What a girlish
     Our class 5N1 majority really do not like Mr Tham who is our Physic teacher. "He has a irritating voice by using micro" , Dona said. It's true enough even I do feel it too. As the result , our class seem cannot corporate with him. He kept nagging, scolding and talking nonsense. We prefer Mr Cheng who have touch us for 2 years . His teaching style is much much impressive than others teacher different subject. Last year result , Physic is one of the top scored for our single student. We did very well for physic paper , comparing the latest Phy MYE paper , it is totally difference and opposite. Sadly , Physic teacher could not be replace. I wonder what would lead us to success.
     Today is Wednesday. Yeah ! It's extremely great that we , graduating class, do not need to go for CCA after school. I could go home early and spend more time to rest , do homework of course. However , today I quarrel with my friend Lylen . Assembly was too lame that I slept half way. When I woke up , the show was over and every one were about to leave the hall . I took my bag and tried to stand up tiredly , I saw our class diary. I took it up and searched for Citi or Keny . However , I cannot find City and Keny was having meeting with the teacher. At that moment , I found Lylen who is our class Vice Chairman. I pass it to her but she acted cute and did take it from me . I repeat twice asking her to take but she did not. In frustrated and annoyed by her action , I release the diary drop on the floor and walk away , did not border about the book. After that , she msg me "you are so rude!" I knew its rude doing that to a girl but I was in bad mood every time I just woke up. My apologize to you dear friend.
     I reached home around 3pm, but my friend Euwen asked me favor helping Math question . I met him and spent time teaching him until 6pm . tiredly , I took a short nap by the time I come back home . Sadly I woke up at ... 1130 pm . Its terrible and have to to spend time at late night to do homework and writing diary.
     In the late night , in the dark room . I am sitting writing diary. I am always miss you Xin Yun . I wish you were with me , I miss your hug . I feel very tired and sleepy . I wish I could see your cute , sexy and beautiful happy smile :)
    I love you Xin Yun
    

22 days without Xin Yun

     Today 28th June 2011, I woke up tiredly and my eyes nearly could not open. It's sure that I could fall in sleep again in few second. I used all my strength to control my lazy body brush teeth , change clothes and get ready going to school
     Walking to school , I felt very hungry and strength-less . When I reached school , I took breakfast and water bottle, I feel much better. I meet friends and had great conversations as ever.
     First two period was English subject. It was super bored and sleepy! She let us do a mock test ; "Write about your strength and weakness of your English." I believed that I did quite well, however, I missed Miss Ang , my previous English teacher because she is one of my favorite teacher . She is very kind and humor. Her teacher style is very impressive and interesting in every lesson. During her class , I had never feel sleepy before , either I did not dare to sleep or her lessons were too exciting.
     Others lesson were still normal as usual. A Math today we learned new topic "Velocity". This is quite related to Physic topic but the questions are completely confusing. I hate reading and understand the phrase. Nevertheless , thank to Madam Sin had guided us clearly , I found this topic interesting :)
     After school , I spend time doing homework and study with my classmates. Some of them spend time study POA with the teacher , Citi asked me help her Math . We had studied until  5pm and we went home.
     I reached home around 5 30 plus , I took a short nap , I had a dream that I was having buffet with Xin Yun . When I wake up, my body was sweating due to too hot. I had forgot what had happened in the dream but it made me miss her more .
     Xin Yun , I miss You 
     

21 days without Xin Yun

     Today 27th June 2011. My school reopened for term 3 after June Holiday. I was super happy meeting all my friends. We shared our activities and events during the past Holiday. I had the feeling that it had been very long I had not come to school. I missed everyone and everything , teachers , friends and my classroom.
     This morning I had PE lesson. We took height and weight test . My weight is 58kg and 1.57m tall. What a disappointed. I have grown tall few cm only for the past few years. I think I maybe stop grown tall but gain weight everyday. However, it does not matter much as I accept who I am and how I look like. I am glad that I am a health person.
     In second PE period , Mr Loh let us play badminton. I had a great game with my friends , especially I performed very well. See Sia and I team up and beat every other team. I felt very proud about myself. It had been very long time I did not play badminton but I still played impressively.
     6pm , I thought I really could forget Xin Yun but I cannot. By the time I top up card, I received her msg "Ong Xa I miss you". My heart was supper pain like its was torn out many parts.
     I have many problems and confides about Xin Yun. I feel very shameful comparing to her , I am just sec 5 and she is already poly year 2. Thus she is from a rich family , They went out having dinner with family members but why can I not share that happiness for her ? Why can I not accept the truth that we have this big gap? Looking at those photos , She turns more pretty and beautiful, I feel more worried that other guys shall grab her away. What can I do for this !!!??? I feel hopeless and helpless. I lost the confidence she would be with me in the future.
     Tonight , She called me. Deeply in my heart , I feel very happy , I miss her very much! However , somehow I have nothing to say . Every sentence I said lead us to quarrel. Why !? What is wrong with me?
     I wish you were a friend in my school . Everyday I could see you , talk to you , see your smile and flirt you. I miss you!!!
    

20 days without Xin Yun

     I had a wonderful yet horrible holiday in Vietnam , I flied back there on 6th June and came back on 26th June. During those days, I could spend more time with my family , my parents and my close relatives cousin. We had party and bought a 3 days tour to the beach . I think I could not said all every great memorable time with family in one post,however, not everyday is wonderful for me . I missed Xin Yun every second, everything I did, I wished I could share that happiness with you . I wished you were there.
     20 days without you , I was like the fish out of water. I cried sometime at night but my dad was there , hugging me and said " When I was knowing your mom , we did not have mobile phone." That helps me clear very much . I felt much better I believe that one day , Xin Yun and I would be together even distance love.
     Today, by the time I arrived Singapore , I called Xin Yun but she sounds very upset. She seem not welcome me much. I dont know what really happened to her, thus I have many conflict about her , either care or do not.
     She seems has been used to the time and feeling without me , without sms me. I half very heartbreaking even though I am glad for her. I could lie my feeling that I still miss her very much . I wish I could hug her right away just few second. At the mean time , I have conflict that I don't want to trouble her any more.
     Tonight , I online facebook, I took a look at her photo profile. What a cheerless ! There is a boy like her , he commented every photo of her and praise her pretty . Well ! I was very jealous ! My heart was very pain but I am helpless. What could I do . There is many guys who is better than me could care her better.
     Xin Yun , Good night !

I am starting to write diary

     Well, like I say above, I started writing diary by today, 6th June 2011. The 1st reason is for improving my English skill and the other is that I want to noted down most of my feeling and expression what has happened everyday .
     I had many confides that I had no one who could share with me. I was really quite stressful about those. But I am not blaming anyone. Its my fault that I am not type of people who really could easily say out all the emotional stuffs, however, human has their limited . I hope by writing diary would help me relax in peace :)
     Actually , during the holiday time I was in Vietnam , I watched a movie that there is a couple . They had quarrel and broke up. The man was very stressful and he started to write diary. One day he had been passed away due to accidence, his ex girlfriend eventually read his blog spot and found that he still loves her very much and apologise that what he has done for her. She cried ...
     I am learning his method . Lets see if it works ^.<

My real feeling to you , Xinyun

     If one day , we face to face and you ask me what I feel to you, I will not answer you directly. However, now I do answer you here completely what I felt those day.
     You are really not a suitable listener for me. I still remember what you had said "I don't like to listen others people problem". Well , I still respect you. But as a human , we have many things that happened to life , make us happy , angry , furious , worried , stressful ... We need someone who could listen to us, help us find the way out of the problem or share the cheerful story. 
     But you are not that kind of person. When I shared with you my awards , we chatted about that less than 5 msg then you changed another topic. Very simply you said " wow! I am so proud of you"and I was stuck there , did not know how to continue. When I told you that I failed an important English test . Your 1st msg " Don't worry dear , you will do better next time" . By reading that , it was nothing wrong , but i feel that i better change topic because your msg could not help me cheer up at all.
     Mainly , our problems , I really cannot share with you our problems. For you , you thought that i was very perfect or you scare hurt me , you did not point out what I did wrong . You know , being silent i will never learning anything , My cousin kept scolding me what I have done badly to you but I have learned from that alot , I have grown up a bit .But whenever I commented what you have make mistakes , we had quarreled awhile but ended up , you were  always emo and angry yourself , THAT MADE ME MORE PISS OFF! We can solve anything about our problems.
     I know I am not that good boy like what you think , I know even me also can't listen you , I know I cannot do as well as i expect you to do like above but I feel that , i am not suit for you. I realize that we are not compatible and I am sorry if i have hurt you.
     I hope you will find someone better and whom you will be happier with, 

An unfortunate incident

     It was a beautiful Sunday. Miss Loh decided to give a call to her sister.
     "How about if I took the children off your hands today Sis? I'd like to bring them to the Sentosa beach."
     An hour or two later, the lady was seated on a mat underneath a shady tree by the sea. On the mat were a jug of ice-cold lemonade, some hot pastries and bright blue container, a bunch of deep purple grapes and some brown paper packets of rice. The paper cups and plates had been arranged neatly by her side. The lady sat with her legs stretched out before her. She had on her sunglasses and had been rubbing blobs of sun-block cream on her arms. She smiled as she looked at the the two girls playing with their pail and spades near the water's edge.
     Miss Loh notice that there were few other picnickers about. On her fat right, was  noisy Malay family. It appeared they had been overnighting. Some Tents had been pitched about them.
     Suddenly, Miss Loh heard screams. Her two nieces were calling out to her. They were trying to alert her to something or someone in the sea. Miss Loh saw the struggling child. He was just a little way off the demarcation poin beyond which swimmers were forbidden. Miss loh jumped into the sea. She was a powerful swimmer and soon reached the struggling boy. Placing her arms underneath his neck, she gently yet firmly brought him back to shore. A crowd of frantic relatives had already gathered there. A mother wailed and fell heavily at the side of the unconscious boy.
     After many efforts at resuscitation, they finally gave up. The boy had died. Miss Loh and her two nieces walked quietly away. It was indeed tragic. That ended Miss Loh picnic.

The story about an accident that make you embarrassing in restaurant

     It was Valentine Day, my very first Valentine Celebration with my girlfriend in my life. So I invited her for a candle light dinner at Marina Bay , the "69 Floor" Restaurant.
     It was a formal and one of the most expensive restaurants in Singapore. I had to spend more than an hour to prepare my clothes as formal as that suited the sign of restaurant. My girl wore dress. That was my first time I saw her wore dress. She looked much more beautiful than an angle. I hoped that night would be a memorable time for both of us.
    We order our favorite meal , Beef Steak and Fish & Chip. We enjoyed the meal with the candle light , the beautiful view where were were 69 floor high, pleasureful musics by the real band and the restaurant looked very high class. It was perfectly romantic dinner until we paid the bill.
     "My apologize sir, our net payment machine were error. Could you please pay by cast?"
     Oh my goodness! I am in hot water, I talked to my self. I was confidence that I could pay by net so I only bring less than $40 in my wallet. The bill was $90++.
     It was a big shock to me. I was speechless. I kept sweating and shaking my whole body that I did not know how to solve that problem. I seemed be helpless. The only hope that my girlfriend could bring enough money. "How could I ask her to pay the bill ?", I spoke to myself. Its was embarrassing let the girl pay for the bill.
     The most embarrassing that that night was I invited her for a dinner and I proudly said" Today I will treat you dinner , my dear." What a shameful that I even could not keep my promise.
     Everyone were curiously looking at my table. I could feel my face very hot. I could see some customer were mumbling something. That would be properly about me. I was so shameful that I wish I could dig a hole and hide myself immediately.
     "Here is our bill payment, you may keep the change." my girlfriend replied in gentle way. It was a big surprise how she could be calm and replied normally.
     That made me so happy that the problem had been solved , but more shameful that let the girl pay for bill. I had no choice. After that , I am more embarrassing that I did not know how you felt. Was she angry? I wished she was not. My heart kept bumping faster and faster.
    " I am sorry..." I talked very softly
    " Its fine, my dear. I am understand. I am not angry you. By the way, I would like to give you this." By the time she opened the bag and took out a pink box of chocolate " Happy Valentine Day, I love you!"
    That was a very big happy moment for me. I felt on top of the world. Even though there was some accident during the event but both of us had solve the problem together. I loved her very much. I would like to plan for dating her on coming White Valentine Day , 14th of March. And that time , I will not let this shame happen to us again.

I would like to show you this video I made these days , Miss Ang ^.<

Challenge

     "Tom! I want to challenge you in Math!" Jhonson banged his hand on the table, shouted loudly and stared at my eyes while I am stunned confusingly. I did not know what was happening if I have done anything to him. The class was silent for seconds. I smelled a rat that something would happen badly to me. I really had no clue how to respond to him. Luckily, my teacher stepped into the class."You watch out!" he shouted before walking back to his table. It made my hair stand
     During recess time , See Sia explained to me," Yesterday is Valentine's Day and Johnson was rejected by Jessica because she was looking for person who could teach her Math."
     "Oh no! I am in hot water!" I talked to myself. I wondered if it is true that he was jealous me because Jessica usually came to my table and asked how to solve the questions. I had unknowingly become a love rival. I feel so irritated by him because I did not want to get this trouble. We had been good friend for very long and I had never expected this fight happened to our friendship.
     Since that day, he put amazing effort in studying Math. He completed all the Math homework and did many extra questions the teacher did not ask us to do. He researched for more methods solving difficult Math questions on the Internet. He canceled other subjects tutors and hired Math tutor indeed. He went tuition center for Math five time a week, even on Sunday too. He worked against the clock in order to surpass me. By the time, I really did not mind what he was doing. I only tried my best to study and score average for every single subject.
     I could not believe my eyes, his Math result had improved incredibly. He scored full marks for common test 2 and 98% for prelim. However , he did badly for English subject, - only 15%
     There were about 3 weeks left to N-level Exam. He had to work much harder for others subjects, but it seemed mostly impossible because he only focused on Math and gave up others. He did not expect this worst situation.
     He sat at one corner in the class, holding his prelim result clip and crying. All his effort had gone up the smoke. It was meaningless how high you scored for all the subjects but English failed. He looked very down and lifeless. I pitied him.
     "Don't give up yet!" Jessica put her hand on his shoulder," Even though there was a dim light of hope, it was possible. I will help you, we will all help you , won't we?"
    "Yeah of course!" the hold class cheered.
    At the moment, he burst in to tears. He felt on top of the world. However, I am not fine with it. He had beat me top scorer for Math. If he passed Eng for N exam, he would be top student. That made me unhappy because I was top three students last night.
    "The challenge is not over yet." I spoke friendly to him," I will still challenge you for overall N-level result. I won't lose to you."
    Those four weeks, I took seriously in studying and revision. I did my very best for the exam paper. Truly I did not touch my computer even just one time. I only concentrated on revision. I did not want to lose him.
    My N-level result was better than him luckily. But his Math result was better than me of cos. It did not matter. Our class 4N1 all did quite well. See you next year in 5N1.

Chingay 2011 - memorable performance

"Hey! Are you free tonight? I would like to invite you watching the 'Chingay performance 2011'. I have free ticket for both of us." I called him excitedly.
"Really? That's great, man!" Chee Hao jumped in joy.
"Lets meet at 5pm , we have dinner before reach there"
"Ok ,man"
Last week , Jessica gave me two Chingay tickets. I had no idea what is Chingay like. I thought it would be normal hip hop dance performance or something else. I did not feel any interested about going this event. I felt very melancholic due to being alone at home and just broken up with my girlfriend few weeks ago.
Early in the morning of that day, Jhonson had thrown my face cold water that he could come with me. He and I had settled to go together but he did cancel last minutes.
I took hurry call all my close friends, however they all could go because it was Saturday night, they might have their family weekend or have plan going out with their friends. I really have butterflies in the stomach because I did not want to wasted the ticket. I did never want go alone. I was so as heavy hearted as I could cancel going too.
I did check my contact list one again ... Chee Hao! I had not called him yet. Lets take a try... Thanks god, he was able to accompany me. I feel much release and got back my mood to go.
We managed to reach the place on time. Wow ! It was intense impressive. It was much more what I had imagined. The Bit Building was huge and long and crowded with many people in there beautiful dresses.The weather was perfectly nice as the performance is outdoor.  They dance along the road with many decorated , car , flower and costume in many different tradition and style. There was a claw performance that was unbelievably impressive .
Last but not least was the Hip hop performance with electric laze light with many color. Follow by colorful firework. I was just too enjoy that I did my best to scream with the flow.

Chinese New Year Eve Celebration

3am...
"Tom! Why have you not slept yet ?" my cousin asked in sleepy voice
"I am insomnia."
The night before celebration , I was both excited and worried for my dance performance. Although we have  done rehearsal very well but It was my first performance in school anyway. I was too nervous that I could not sleep.
Strangely, the next morning , I felt full of power and walk faster than usual as I wanted to reach school early. It was so excited.
Disappointingly, half of whole school's students were absent due to going back there country. It did not matter, my favorite teacher was there... I purposely did this performance for her because this is her last year teaching me. I would like to make her a good memories about our school and me.
I had butterflies flying around my stomach when my performance just next few minutes after wushu dance.My heart kept pumping faster and harder like a disco drum...
"Tom! Do your best, man!" my friend , Chee Hao, gave me a support. All my stress were disappeared thus it was replaced with and fully confidence. I felt will of fire was running around me that I wanted badly perform right away , I could not wait any longer.

"And now , Hip Hop Dance!"

As the music started , I pushed myself  to concentrate and remember all the steps that I could hardly observe the audiences around. The only I could hear was cheer from them very loudly.  

 Well , there were many comments that its was impressive, however , some commented I should improve in some part. Overall , I did super awesome! 

I hope you will always remember me :) Miss Ang 

Synonyms of WORRIED

I hate Wednesday, mass CCA day. I tended to skip school but I was anxious and did not dare to do
I was apprehensive and afraid that if any students of teacher would caught me climbing out
It is uneasy for me to make decision because this was my 1st time I was going to climb out in my life.
I had butterflies in the stomach that hold my leg back, however, I really did not want to come that weary band room.
Within a second , I managed climb out and landed on the floor safely and ran like a flash out the sign as fast as possible.
"Hey! Who is that?" one of the teacher shouted out loud. I tried to make my ran even more overwrought.Who bothered what he shouted?
A wave of emotion swept over my principal during next morning assembly and he was intense anguish that someone had escape school without knowing exactly who had climbed out.
With a bitter smile , I tried to hide myself behind my friend.

Synonums of SADNESS

What a bored Saturday , I feel crest-fallen and lonely at home
I feel dejected and despondent   that I do not want go out
Its despair that none of my friends date me out
Even the comp games make me distressed and downcast, I stop playing within 30 minutes
I feel so gloomy , glum , low-spirit that I just lie of the bed do nothing
Looking at the cloud fly slowly in the sky , lonely in the room , I feel more melancholic
I go to the kitchen , cook my favorite maggie mee but accidentally I drop it on the floor due to hot water jump onto my arm. I feel so troubled and grief-stricken
At the moment I feel so mournful . My girlfriend msg me that she cannot go out. My heart is broken. That is super heavy-hearted and I just want to suicide.

Vocab , synnonyms of ANGER

I feel agitated that my teacher give me work in last minute
My class all antagonize the teacher because he gave too much homework
My teacher announced tomorrow will have class test that makes us perturbed
I feel boiling when the bus reach very late
My friends kept chaffing me because I didn't do homework
The teacher seem furious that could not say out a word
Carelessly I bang the table and Dona's pencil drop on the floor, this make her enraged at me
"Just watch out! I'll make you pay for it!" she said between clenched teeth
I try to say sorry but useless , she sounded more exasperated .
My friends make too noisy that my friend get annoyed and ill-tempered
why today do everyone get mad and raging at me ?
I get more resentful on myself , I cant control my temper and punch my hand to the wall , result my finger injured
my class all shout tumultuously , and itching for a fight because my teacher kept talking irritatedly
My mom get terribly incensed like an impetuous storm
Her scolding like grateing on my nerves that make me more piqued

Volcano

Do you know what is the meaning of "The Friday 13th" ? Have you ever heard about that ? Western People believe every that day on any month and any year will be the UNLUCKY day . However , yesterday Friday 14th , There were many terrible things happen to me .
I have started my day by running to school for being late due to forget my important file. I sweat a lot and It make me very smelly like an animal. I was shame and even didn't dare to talk to any friends . I was so hungry because I was in hurry , I didn't have time to take my breakfast , my breakfast that day was not nice anyway. I have no energy so I lay on the table and was scolded seriously by the teacher. She talked a lot and kept nagging me. That make me more shameful in front of friends.
Ring!
Finally , school was over , My friend could go home and enjoy their weekend while I have to stay back for my  bull shit CCA . I really hate my CCA , Band. I feel that they manage the band very lousy. You will think join band , play music is fun and interesting but when you pass one month , you will know the hell that is .
On the Friday , they made us practise Drill on the hot sun . The commander kept shouting irritatedly while we kept matching tiredly. And when they get angry because we did not as well as what they want , they punished us . What the unfair !!! We did push up 20 time plus but they was standing kept shouted like a dog . That time , I was too angry that I could dare stand up and walk home . But my teacher was there looking , so I suppress my bloody anger.
After the drill practice , we returned back to the band room , practice for the Chinese new year event . What the bored , the instructor kept talking nonsense , wasted my time . He let us play one by one to correct one by one. however , the rest we was just sitting down wait for nothing , I talked to my friend and was scolded -.-
I don't want to come back the Band Anymore . I hope The graduate class step down CCA as soon as possible !!!

O level result - result with joy plus cry

"Next ! Do Ba Thong!", Madam Choo called my name . My whole body was shaking that i couldn't move my toe . I took a stand slowly and step by step forward the table where my result clip was on . I really hoped , I wish I could get the best mark with A1 score because I am quite confidence that I did pretty well that time . I am waiting for the light of hope from Madam Choo's lip as she would give me a congrats smile. Yes she did ! She smile at me :"Well done Tom , take a look at your result and sign at this paper."
I take a carefully closer look . A ! Yes ! I got A ! ... But Wait ! I can't believe it ! I got A Two !
What a disappointed !The moment I was on top of tower have exploded just like a flash . I was stun there for a moment . I try to give a fake smile happy . This result was not as good as what I have expected it be .
However , Grade A is not really easy that every one could achieve it like piece a cake. I feel much relief for that
My climax is not stop here yet. My result was not the most main purpose I am waiting there. What I am waiting was my brother O Level result . I did search where my brother was sitting
I saw him! He looked more stressfull than me . I could she how hard and pain he try to hold his hand to calm him down ."Are you the next person," I asked . He did give me a nod without saying a word .
Finally his turn . Just like me I think , he walked to the result clip table . I tried to peak from behind . "Oh My God!", I didn't believe on my eye. His result was very good .He was the Third Top student with 3 distinction : Math and Amath score A2 , Science scores A1 and POA scores B3 ... But what the shock ! English he failed badly , E8 . He looks like a dead body. With that English result , none of the course in Poly accept him. How ? how ? So what ? Next time I will tell you :)

Are you nervous for O level result ?

No I am not . Really I am . I don't feel like heart pumping fast , scared and keep sweating . Today is Sunday , I hope I could take my result right now that I could ask my parent for present .
Anyway , I am stuck in Secondary Five for one more year . I half want to stay in Sec school longer with friends , teachers , performance event except my cca , Half I am interested in new life in poly , new school , new facility , new cca , new friends and of cos there are many pretty girl waiting for me :D
Yesterday , Sat 8th Jan 2011 , My friend and I , 6 of us did visit Ngee Ann poly . I met my senior there at the gate .She looks ugly than before but who cares . She led us to the main hall where all the courses gather there . That place was damn crowded and noisy like a market. I am searching for business courses as a hotel and resort management that I have planned the night before . Yes , I found them. I walk and search for the information. The poly student have explained to me clearly every important information that i want to know, thank her very much, by the way , she is the very pretty girl , I was shy by standing close and trading information with her .
After that, I tried to looking for the knowledge about the Banking Account courses that my brother asked me help him take the file . He take O level last year , however , I don't think Banking Account course .
After that , we went to the Makang Place to have our lunch , Their canteen looks like Koufu perfectly , but the price is cheaper of course. I bought my meal at Indonesian Store while my friends visited the others .
Last but not least , this is the most important , main purpose we do visit poly school - collect goody bags :P . there are a nes coffee , student hand book , poly file and pen . What the funny, my friend walked in one more time to take one more bag but they recognised and scored him.
Then we took bus home :) 

Quest : Year 2010

Goodbye year 2010 , welcome happy new year 2011 :) I have a lot of joyful and terrible memories. I would like to share with you now one of the event that will stick in my mind for years onward :)
Do you know why I write my name as "DJ Tom" ? Do you know what the word "DJ" means ? :) "DJ" is the person who control the music in the bar :D . Yes , I would like to be a DJ , It's cool . Moreover , I love music . My hobby is to play drum set and do breakdance :-p .
In October 2010 , I did created my own dance crew . I have sign to anticipate a performance for a volunteer event at Toa Payoh Community Club :) We spend more than one months to practice fours a week . Its was not easy for me to find a dancing room at first . However , next by my block there is a club that could rent me a dancing room for $5 per hour .
We have greet fun by practising together , have lunch together , thus we have some big , small quarrel and discussion when we have different idea
Finally , That day has come and we did perform successfully :) We jump for cheer and celebrate at the KFC :P
I am looking for a day we could perform in school . However , I don't think we are able to perform on Chinese New Year Event because one of my member will be very busy as she is the Chinese dancer :)